I have more than my share of water issues!!

Remember David the water man? He's baaaaaaaaaaaack! Which would explain why early Saturday evening I was standing barefoot in the rain, wearing only a giant robe (commando at last), talking to David on my cell phone and listening to a rock! Definitely no picture with this post, the visual is bad enough!

Explanation: In case my never-at-home neighbors were actually home, or you worry I have lost even more of my mind!!

I was about 60 seconds into my shower when the water stopped. I draw water from the lake and I could see there was still plenty out there! Obviously I called David, who so far still answers my calls 24/7. In an effort to diagnose the problem, he asked me to check if the pump was running. Said pump is under a faux rock in my back yard, and was indeed running! And that explains it.

David instructed me on which breaker to turn off and promised he would be out in the morning. I always confuse the breakers for the water and septic system; could be bad!

Problem resolved Sunday as I was in mass fervently praying for water. Water restored thirty minutes before my two 88 year old church lady friends came over for lunch! And speaking of them, they kick ass at Scrabble!

David tried to explain but it made no sense at all.........really I will just call!

There is no one like mom!

Mom
Next to Mom is my favorite ornament that hung on our Christmas tree while I was growing up. She gave it to me when I left home.

Needlepoint stockings she made. Every grandchild has one!

Ceramic nativity Mom made for me in 1979!

I miss my mom every day, but if possible, I miss her more at Christmas. She loved Christmas! She loved to shop, decorate, and host all of us, especially the grand kids. Mom would wait on them tirelessly hand and foot, she was so proud of them. Nothing made her happier than having the whole group together.

Mom always had a hard time making decisions. That is probably an understatement, she agonized over every decision she had to make. Sometimes this drove me nuts, but never at Christmas! Because..........when she couldn't make a definite decision about a gift, she bought two, or three spares. A regular event of our gift opening (we are a one-at-a-time family) was mom scurrying off exclaiming "wait, I have another____ under my bed"....color, size, whatever was the root of her indecision!

And at the end of it all , she always exclaimed "I'd say we all had a nice Christmas!!"

We still say it of course, and my Dad does a great job of keeping her spirit alive, decorating the house, waiting on the grand kids, etc but.... well, there is no one like Mom.

The three men I admire most (after the Father, Son and Holy Ghost)

Lee, Sam & David

OK, not RIGHT after The Father, Son and Holy Ghost (who can name that song btw??) Of course right after F,S & HG would be the awesome men in my family and wonderful guy friends (who are married to my wonderful girlfriends); but these men are high on my list!!

Lee (the bug man), Sam (the yard man), and David (the water man).

When one lives alone and wrestles seemingly constantly with man issues (not of the dating kind) you must have some professionals to call upon, lest you wear out family and friends. These three guys have been helping me out for 20, 15, and 12 years, respectively. All three are in my cell phone! All three know I am apt to call at any time! I can pretty much fit any "issue" into one of their three areas of expertise. I know it is a stretch, they know it is stretch, but it has been working......... until now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam is leaving me, for a bunch of bees!! He is getting out of the landscaping business so he can focus full-time on bee keeping. It feels like a divorce all over again, maybe even worse, Sam and I get along great!! OK, not worse.

He promised I could continue to call him, he just won't take care of my yard anymore!! He tried to make me feel better by saying if he kept just one yard, it would be mine. Didn't help!

Not only do I need a new yard man, this could strain my relationship with David and Lee; I will now have to fit everything into only two categories!! Oh my!!

Name that song answer: American Pie

And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
(and took Sam with them)
The day the music died.

And we were singing,
Bye Bye Miss American Pie,
Drove my Chevy to the levy...................

God is crafty indeed!!!! Happy Sunday!!

The heavens declare the glory of God,
the sky proclaims its builder's craft.
Psalm 19:2

What happens when you eat asparagus? And I LOVE Google!!!!

I don't eat a lot of asparagus, but when I do it does odd things to my body. If it does the same to yours, then you know EXACTLY what I am talking about here. But, if you have no clue, you are missing either the gene to break asparagus down to it's, uh smelly components, or you don't have the gene to recognize (smell) this urine phenomenon. Apparently I have been blessed with both; lucky me!!!

Seriously, who knew?? I love Google because I knew there was something going on here!!!

Read more: How Does Asparagus Make Urine Smell? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how-does_4586963_asparagus-urine-smell.html#ixzz17jurWlER

Merry Christmas...Take all the HOT showers you want

Yes, I have a new water heater. So this Christmas, showers on me! All the hot showers you want in fact. Long story short: Plumber who installed is (shock) no longer in business. Store where water heater purchased no longer carries that brand (warranty issues -- go figure) and so... I own a new water heater (different brand, different installer). But the hot showers are oh so nice, Merry Christmas !!! Trust me, I know it could be worse, I am not complaining............. really!

God does have a sense of humor....I guess!!!!

I went to let Ellie out this morning and noticed water pouring out of the "water room" in the back of my garage. Bad expletives, lots of bad expletives; this was definitely not good!! Went into total panic mode, called the water guy immediately, because thankfully his number is on the water tank!! HELP!! Yes, I really said that, he knows me!

Well, David informed me it probably was my water heater (it is all of three years old of course), since it is a piece of crap! What?????????????

He calmly told me to turn off the water system AND the water heater and he would be out in about an hour. He said "of course you are probably on your way to work".

NO, I am off today!! Hellooooooo....... it is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception!! Love my job on these days!!!!!!!!!!

Good thing I am off so I can deal with this today, Happy Holy Day everyone!

And FYI: I turned off so many breakers it is crazy, anything that had the words, pump, water, heater, station, well (which I don't even have btw, but turned if off too??? ). My memory being what it is (or is not) I decided to be productive (while waiting for David) and do a couple dirty dishes in my sink. I still had water, AND it was HOT!! I don't even want to know how that is possible, can someone please explain that to me!!

I will keep you posted (ha ha no pun intended) and let you know how this little drama ends!

Ho Ho Ho alright, I will just sit here a look at my lovely tree and think about how much this will cost!!!

What a difference a day makes....

Not sure what this stuff if, but it came out of my "unshaken" tree! Gross

An opportunity to pull out my new shop-vac. Who knew these things don't even come put together? Well, just added a little more joy to my tree trimming festivities!!

Looking more like a Christmas tree, or one without purple tags!! Notice a couple branches from the bottom of the tree moved up the corporate tree ladder.

Note the purple tag is still there............ just a gentle reminder!!

My tree is topless!

So, I decided Sunday to put up my Christmas tree. Figured (naively) I could handle this solo, even though I have a perfectly able son who could assist. I knew he had finals all week so figured I would attempt this on my own (my first as I usually recruit a son or a Bob).

I borrowed a truck from a neighbor and headed up to the tree farm in Chapin. As an aside, I really like driving trucks!! Power baby! Even had the foresight to take my tree stand and have the tree folks help me out there. So all I had to do was carry it into the house and decorate! Oh if only..............

First please note that purple tag on the tree?? Apparently that purple screams "Challenged Tree". I requested a small tree ($$$) and the only one they had left was still wrapped up. Note to self; never do this again, not only can you not see if it is actually shaped like a tree, but "shaking out" before bringing tree in house is very wise indeed!!

So the tree lady reduced the price even more after noting "Oh, it has a purple tag"! In my gay Christmas mood I assumed she 1. Was being kind and generous. or 2. It was a really small tree. WRONG!! IT IS CHALLENGED, IT HAS NO TOP? Oh well, I will get creative!! But for now, this is what I have!

Oh yea, and a big mess since my poor little tree had not been "shook" before coming home with me!! OH my!!

Oh those Woebegone Gamecocks!!!

Please let them win so I NEVER, EVER have to hear how they can NOT win big games. Gone with the woebegone attitude and let a new Gamecock era begin! I don't ever want to hear "if you have been a fan as long as I have.....", "you just don't understand, we NEVER win", "wait until the second half, we ALWAYS lose", and on and on and on!

Below is a quote from an article in The State a while back, sums it up well.

"Despite the endless, loud cheers game after game, supporters never expected big wins; they anticipated letdowns, defeat and disappointment. For the past several years, Coach Spurrier has pushed for a change in culture and worked to get his football team to adopt a winning attitude."

I am not a big Spurrier fan because I think he is usually too negative and woebegone, but hey if it is working, so be it. Just seems a little like the pot calling the kettle black to me.

Please WIN the SEC Championship

and LOSE the 'TUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO GAMECOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read more: http://www.thestate.com/2010/11/16/1563659/why-not-usc-why-not-the-state.html#storylink=omni_popular#ixzz15TZH2z41

What about Bob??

So, I guess it is time for a post about the occasional 'adventure' of dating at my age.

First off, I have decided to call all past, present and future dates Bob, because really there are so (not) many. Simplifies it and lets everyone remain anonymous. So all future references to Bob, are in no way, shape or form referring to the original Bob. Original Bob constitutes half the gene pool for three awesome kids, who wants to complain about that?

But let's face it, there are a lot of Bobs. I realize there are a lot of Marys too, so if any single guy out there chooses to call all his p,p & f dates Mary I will not take offense. In fact, when I was half of the Original Bob & Mary, we had not one, but two other Bob & Mary friends. So we just added an adjective. We had Big Bob & Mary (both were over 6 ' tall) and Anne's Bob & Mary (they were my friend Anne's relatives). Adjectives are after all so descriptive! So...........

Meet Frugal Bob

In all fairness (and I am a fair person), FB was/is a great guy: smart, well educated (as in Harvard), kind, good shoes (don't know why, but this is always an important factor for me). But this guy wrote the book on frugal! First, lets not confuse frugal with cheap, that is a whole other issue (and a whole other guy, Cheap Bob).

Early on with FB, I was in his kitchen trying to impress with my culinary skills. Although in all honesty, that was super easy because he only ate tuna from a can and Hot Pockets anyway. I was making dinner and needed a strainer, as no dinner is complete w/o pasta. I looked in the pantry......

And found........ nothing and I swear nothing, but toilet paper and coffee!! What????????? Well, turns out FB traveled a lot for his job and apparently NEVER left his hotel room without copping the TP and coffee. It's free, right? Actually double free, the company picks up the hotel tab. Rolls and rolls of individually wrapped TP and mountains of individual coffee packets! Not only coffee packets, but millions, ok thousands, of artificial sweeteners, sugars, fake creamers, stirrers, the whole deal. Now I have been known to take an occasional shampoo or lotion, but this seemed a bit excessive! Especially when FB himself drank his coffee with milk only! There are many more examples of this er frugality, but you get the idea.

FB is actually still a good friend but we no longer date; he lives out of town and well, you know, gas is expensive!

This baby smiles ALL the time!!!!!!!!

Little Meg Meg is one smiley, chunky monkey. She is pleasant ALL the time and loves to smile at anyone, anytime. Aunt Patsis kept calling her our "little butterball Thanksgiving girl" with good reason. We love this baby, how could we not??

That girls just wanna have fun............ at any age!

This is Aunt Patsis doing the "Bristol Palin Shimmy".

Mary Kate "wearing" her Christmas gifts from Annie -- homemade crayons and adorable hat!

Sliding through the whale at the Atlanta Aquarium.

Pretending to eat Maria's 21st birthday cake with her!

Help me, I am stuck in here!

Who only knows??

Doing a little twirl dance on the porch.

These last two are "singing" to "Stuck Like Glue", and they were...most of the time! With a little help from their female relatives, they sounded a LOT like this, I swear! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iDPw_qjhtM

Sister Wives!

Really, it does seem that for lots of things, one man is enough for more than one woman, or sister as the case may be.

This post is a shout out to my favorite bro-in-law. Yes, he would be the one who “walked through” fire with me. During that time, he quite patiently stayed on the phone with me and repeated things about pilot lights, high/low settings , remote position, igniter switch…. OVER and OVER, because I swear that stuff just makes no sense to me and will not stick in my brain! So as I repeatedly tried to “bleed the air out of the gas line”, he explained OVER and OVER how to attempt the same thing about fifty times. For this, I am grateful.

Once I had fire on, fire off again, I called my “sister wife” Patsis and thanked her profusely for not only getting, but staying married. Mike B is the same guy who helped me purchase a TV (that is totally wasted on me but impresses the occasional date), decide whether or not I should refinance my house, and most importantly introduced me to Trader Joes!

Thank God one of us has a husband!

That it is true, you get what you pay for!

We all know it is true! Think about it, it is like that for almost everything.

And a perfect example came today in the form of a hilarious (as all things Tracey are) phone call from my good friend! Said friend went to Super Cuts to get, no not just a super cut, but HIGHLIGHTS!! She said, and I quote "There are about four different colors going on around my scalp, and none of them are the carmel color I requested!" This comment was even funnier if you could hear her Chicaaago accent on the word scaaalp!

Helloooo, it is your hair!!!

Yep, you get what you pay for!

That Christmas just gets earlier and earlier every year!

It seems every year Christmas just sneaks up on me. Maybe it is my age, but I swear it seems a little early this year! Of course it may have something to do with the fact we are celebrating a tad early with our favorite Texans!! Spending today preparing for a Happy/Merry /Thanksgiving/Christmas!!

Lake Murray, past and present!

Fourth of July, 2010 and today!

That white blob in the present day shot is the Isla Paradisia. How sad is that!

OK, I don't miss the eight hundred consecutive days of 100 + weather, but I do miss summer fun!

Guatemala

So while Ellie was busy having loose stools all over Ian's house, Maria's dorm room AND even Ian and Maria's girl/guy friends places as well (not to make anyone feel left out I suppose), I was in Guatemala.

Guatemala is a beautiful country with friendly people, a vibrant culture and lots of scary chicken buses. These are old American school buses painted all crazy and then used to haul people and chickens all around the country, hence the name chicken bus! The buses are crazy enough, but considering the roads are always semi-complete thanks to the never ending mud slides, it makes for very exhilarating rides. Although I will say there are certain family members who scare me more!

Showers are scary too, some electrical wiring contraption that you can't touch, lest you get shocked. It doesn't even work most of the time so cold showers and sorta clean hair are common.

The kids at the Catholic school did a little show for us on the last day. The little guy to the far left was not having fun though, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but standing in front of us! Second group wore "western" clothes and sang "We are the World" MTV style! Very Cute!!

When I went in January several of us got up at 4:00 AM to hike to the top of the largest volcano with one of the nuns (pictured above). She hiked three miles up and down a narrow, rocky trail in FULL HABIT!! I was sweating profusely, couldn't walk down stairs without pain for two weeks after the hike, and she strolled down in THAT; I don't even think she broke a sweat. No wonder when she described it to us I had visions of strolling myself, as in the Sound of Music! No similarities I can assure you!! But I was singing.... The hills are alive, with the sound of music!

And yes, that is me with a little girl and a big beer. Michelle and Gallo; my scarf lady friend's daughter and the local beer.

I miss Guatemala!!

That it is NOT a hundred degrees today.

Don't know about the rest of you, and I never thought I would be saying this but.........

Thank God for the end of summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much as I love it, I am happy it is gone (Gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday..........who knows that song??)

Have I mentioned I think in songs??

This dog is just cute!

Ellie's hair cut -- after and before (yes as opposed to before and after:sorry I don't know how to change the picture order, I am very annoying, er new at this- ask Jeff and Kristen). She may not be the brightest bulb on the tree, afraid of any/every thing that moves, but you gotta admit, she is cute! I love you Ms. Belle!!

Ellie spent 11 days w/o her mama while I was in Guatemala. Thanks to Ian and Maria for taking care of her while I was off galavanting around third world countries. Sorry about all the "loose stools"; I think all that time in a house with five guys and a girls college dorm was too traumatic for this Mama's pup. Thanks guys!!

And the song for this post.....You and me Ellie we're stuck like glue....

That sometimes you just need a man.! Part 3

Fire, cars and electronics! OH MY!!

ELECTRONICS!!!

I own an iPOD thanks to my kiddos. Same kiddos loaded tunes (thanks Mo) and bought me a stereo. I am still hoping for playlists (hint hint) but in the meantime, I decided to update my iPod with some new music. I stopped by Best Buy and bought a couple new CDs. Of course I quickly realized I didn’t have a clue how to actually get the music into/onto my iPod! I take that back, I had a clue: I knew the computer was an integral part of the process. I even had some vague recollection of Ian parking me beside my computer with my CDs and providing simple instructions on how to load them. Then he took over, did some sync trick, and voila, my iPod had more tunes! But that was long ago and I have no idea.........

So, I did whatever I do when I have electronic issues, I called Jeff. Lest you think I have favorites, I do not!! All my children receive calls depending on my needs, but Jeff is definitely the exceedingly patient go-to electronic wiz who oft assists me all the way from Texas. In fact, he has admin rights for this very blog. He decided it was easier to do some things himself than try and explain them to me over the phone. Suits me just fine! It is baffling how he does this! Television, cable (far better than the TWC, er technicians), computer, camera, dvd player, you name it.

Uploading/downloading (is there a difference?) songs was no exception and while he drove home from work too many states away, he patiently instructed me on how to get songs off CDs into/onto iPod via computer. I know I am old, but seriously this stuff still amazes the heck out of me!! Taylor Swift is in my iPod now! Sorry Jeff, you may not have helped had you known!

That sometime you just need a man! Part 2

Fire, cars and electronics! OH MY!!

CARS!!!

So, I am sitting at a red light downtown and a very nice man rolled down his window, and motioned for me to do the same. I immediately assumed he was single, somehow knew I must be single, wanted to ask me out, probably take me on a cruise….wait , this stuff happens in the movies right? OK, he just wanted to tell me I had a brake light out. Since cars are another OH MY for me, I replied “so what should I do?” He yelled “AdvanceAuto Parts” and drove off. Well, THAT I can do! I drove to Advance Auto; the first sign I saw read “we replace wiper blades free”. Free installation, really? Awesome! The oil change people have been telling me I need to replace my wiper blades for. like. ever! And somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I knew you could replace wipers on your own way cheaper. Of course I can’t really do it, but I didn’t want to pay the oil changers either. Here was my opportunity! So, I proceed to the counter, provide the nice young man with the make and model of my car (I DO know you have to do that) and then as sweetly as possible “could you replace my wiper blades, and I would like one right brake light to go with that, please!”. It worked!! Thank you Eric! If you ever go to Advance Auto in Irmo tell Eric he “rocks”. That is what I told him, and I know my kids are rolling their eyes right now, and yes I seriously said that!! In fact I told Eric he rocks and is the bomb!